7 Months!

Living In The Moment

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how different my frame of mind is now, compared to a few months ago when Ellie was a newborn. In the 0-3 month phase, I remember constantly thinking 'it'll be easier when...' or 'I can't wait until she's able to...', filling in the gaps with milestones I thought would make my life easier. Having a newborn was simultaneously incredibly challenging and a wonderful blessing.

I feel like my attitude started to shift around the 4 month mark. Ellie started acknowledging and reacting to me (smiles, laughs, etc) and I started to feel like having a baby around was just as much fun as it was work. And even then, some of that 'work' was actually pretty great (breastfeeding, bath time, etc.).

Now, at nearly 7 months, she is such a joy to be around! She laughs, plays, reaches for toys, reaches for me, babbles, sits up on her own, makes funny faces (especially the one she makes when I try to feed her apples or hummous). She brings so much joy to my life and I couldn't imagine going a day without her (the day of my surgery was brutal!). All of this gushing doesn't mean she isn't still a challenge and a lot of work (that's just part of being a parent), but the work is a lot less daunting these days. Here's hoping she's still this much of a joy when she's a teenager ;)

Little Miss Pees A Lot

I love cloth diapers. I love not filling a garbage bin full of diapers or having to run to the store at the last minute (and that store is a 30 minute drive away too!) and fork out a ridiculous amount of cash for diapers. What I don't love is our current struggle with keeping Ellie dry overnight. We've stopped changing her diaper at night because she's just too sleepy and a diaper change results in blood-curdling screams from a child who just doesn't want to be woken up quite that much. Sadly though, we still have to sometimes as we are still figuring out the perfect night time cloth diaper. We have a few options. We have two DryBees fleece night diapers that seem to hold everything in, depending on how many inserts we put in them. The downside is that they are super bulky and for the last half of the night her bum feels ever so slightly damp, since they don't have any plastic lining (PUL I think it's called?). We also have two BumGenius 4.0's that we stuff with both inserts they came with (one long one that folds down and snaps to be a shorter length and one short one that's fairly thin). The downside to these is that we never seem to get the perfect fit around both legs and she ends up leaky about half way through the night. Finally, we have our cheapie CozyKids pocket diapers that we stuff with two regular inserts. This usually works to avoid leaks, but we sometimes have fit issues. The upside is that they aren't bulky, even with two inserts (neither are the BumGenius). Is there a perfect overnight cloth diaper out there? Can anyone recommend one? Something that's not too bulky, fits lots of different sizes, and can hold a whole lotta pee???

Let the Guilt Begin

I knew this day would come. I expected it from other moms, maybe even from relatives, but not from health professionals. Silly me. I thought doctors and public health nurses were meant to monitor your child's health and encourage you to continue healthy practices for your child. Unfortunately, the public health nurse we saw most recently decided to lay on the guilt about how and what I feed my baby and whether or not I'm doing a good enough job. (I seem to have similar somewhat negative experiences with all health nurses, I'm not sure why). See, at Ellie's 4 month shots, she weighed roughly 15lbs. This week, however, at her 6 month shots, she was a couple ounces less than she was 2 months ago. A couple things could have caused this, one being that they weighed her naked this time and fully clothed last time. Another being that she's much, much more active than she was 2 months ago. Adding to that, she's grown longer rather than heavier. At any rate, our doctor (who also saw and weighed Ellie at 4 months and 6 months) saw no reason for concern, yet the public health nurse proceeded to lecture me on my milk supply, what solid foods I was feeding Ellie, and whether or not Ellie was getting fed or nursed enough. Needless to say, as a first time mom, I basically spent the week in super stress mode trying to nurse more often, trying to feed Ellie more solid foods, and stressing out that my milk supply wasn't sufficient. That changes today. After listening to my gut and doing my own research I learned what I had thought all along - that breastfed babies simply don't follow the same growth curves as formula fed babies and that standard growth charts used by health professionals are based on an average of both breastfed and formula fed babies. So while Ellie may seem small when compared to all other babies, when her weight is tracked on a breastfed-babies-only growth chart, she's right on the mean. So I am done worrying and stressing myself out. She eats (often and plenty!), she plays, she sleeps, poos, pees, and laughs. She's perfect and she's doing just fine!

December Goals

I've decided not to make any concrete goals for this month. We have a lot going on over the next few weeks and my only goal for the month is to get through it relatively unscathed.

I started off the month in pretty rough shape because I had my gall bladder removed only a couple days earlier. Suffice it to say, those first few days were a blur of painkillers, no sleep and a lot of lying on the couch with heat packs and ice packs just trying to make it through. Thanks to a lot of help from Adam and my mom, Ellie and I were well taken care of.

I've now made it through my first week of recovery and I'm on to my next challenge. This week I'm putting together a staff holiday party for 20-30 people and then baking 7 dozen cookies for a cookie exchange on the weekend. I'm a little overwhelmed but I still seem to find the time to do fun things like set up a small Christmas tree and bake shortbread cookies.

During the last couple weeks of this month I have to plan and pack for a week long trip across the country with Adam and Ellie. To say I'm nervous/anxious/stressed/worried about all the things I need to remember and deal with along the way would be an understatement. I have no idea how Ellie is going to react to airplane travel, airport transfers, and a plethora of new faces. It may sound negative to some people, but I'm trying to plan for the worst so that I will be prepared for any scenario. Wish us luck!

So that's the month ahead. All while still recovering from surgery. Here's hoping I make it out alive!

A Passion for Pinterest!

The upside to being stuck on the couch recovering from surgery is that I get a lot of baby-free time to spend browsing Pinterest.

I'm trying to decide which recipe to try first - maybe something I can bring to our holiday staff party or as part of a cookie exchange with friends...

 

I'm also trying to decide which DIY project to take on first, likely after Christmas...

How do I decide what to do first???

It's Almost December!

With my surgery coming up on Monday, I thought it would be best to get a head start on evaluating my November goals.

• Take Ellie to a baby group. Nope!
• Continue to eat more veggies. Yup!
• More tummy time for Ellie! A bit, but she's not a big fan.
• Be more consistent with putting Ellie in her crib for naps. I totally suck at this.
• Sit down with Adam and weigh the pros and cons of me finding an outside job. Done, and as it turns out, I got a job and then went from part time to on-call/casual. I think this is the perfect balance.
• Encourage Adam to use the sauna or steam room at least once a week. I totally forgot to do this...
• Do something (anything!) once a week that contributes to my own overall health. Not even once...
• Let my mom babysit more so that Ellie gets more used to her. Done! Ellie LOVES her!
• Get our house clean and sorted. Mostly done, but I feel like it's a never ending task.
• Baby proof! We've started!
• Work on my two big goals.Yes. I've been doing research for both goals. I've determined that if we do proceed with adoption, it would likely be a private adoption as I am just not up for the challenges that come with raising a child with FASD. I completely commend people who take on this challenge knowingly, but I don't see myself going this route any time soon. So now I need to do more research on funding for private adoptions. As for my career goal, I just have to keep plugging along with the research for now.
• Make and freeze a month's worth of baby food! Well, I might not have a month's worth frozen, but I do have quite a bit.
• Pump and freeze milk for my surgery. Done.
• Christmas presents/plans! Everything about this is up in the air, so hopefully we can get some of it figured out soon! Plans are made and I'm just about done with presents!

I'll have to think up some goals for December, but I might not get a chance to post them on time, depending on my surgery. Hopefully it will go well and I'll be posting my December goals on the 1st!

6 months!

Weighing in at 6.85kg and measuring 66cm, our little babe is half a year old!

Housewife Woes

Today I found myself in the midst of a very familiar meltdown. It was the "no matter how much I vacuum I can't get these dang floors clean" meltdown. You see, we have a very, very hairy dog. He's a yellow lab cross but his coat is more like that of a German Shepherd. So he has long-ish wiry hair that weaves into our carpets and a thick undercoat that seems to shed like crazy (I'm talking fist-fulls of hair everywhere!) for months out of the year. For the past 5 or so years, we've gotten by using Adam's beloved shop vac. Well, lately it seems to clog very easily in multiple parts of the hose. My floors are never clean and it's driving me crazy! Normally I wouldn't care quite this much, but with a baby who could crawl any time in the next few months, I just can't take it anymore. I'd like to be able to put Ellie down to play anywhere in the house without worrying about having her covered head to toe in dog hair when I pick her up. Not to mention how much of it she'd likely end up eating!

But that's enough ranting! If anyone happens to read this and has good recommendations of an affordable, yet pet-hair-busting vacuum, please comment!

My First Pinterest Challenge

Inspired by one of my favourite blogs, Young House Love, I decided to take part in the fall edition of the Pinterest Challenge!

A friend of mine had recommended a pin to me that I just couldn't resist. Here is the original pin:

And after a photo shoot of pure awesome fun, here's our end result:

We later cut leg holes and tried that on for size too, but this is my favourite photo because the little hat only stayed on for a few photos!

November Goals

I can't believe it will be December a month from now. I am not even the least bit prepared for the holidays. Looks like I'll have to make up for that in November!

• Take Ellie to a baby group. We've been to it once before, but now I'd like to work it into our schedule more regularly.
• Continue to eat more veggies.
• More tummy time for Ellie! She very much prefers to sit up to play on her blanket, but to learn to crawl, she'll have to do more tummy time.
• Be more consistent with putting Ellie in her crib for naps.
• Sit down with Adam and weigh the pros and cons of me finding an outside job. I have an interview next week, so hopefully we can do this before then.
• Encourage Adam to use the sauna or steam room at least once a week.
• Do something (anything!) once a week that contributes to my own overall health. Whether this is a yoga class, a session in the sauna, some time in the fitness room, etc. It doesn't matter what it is as long as it makes me feel good and is good for me! 
• Let my mom babysit more so that Ellie gets more used to her. This will give me some freedom and help relieve some of the stress of having to leave Ellie when I have my gall bladder removed. Plus, if I do get an outside job, it will help with childcare.
• Get our house clean and sorted. We have bottles that need to go to the depot, a baby swing to return to a friend, computer stuff to organize and put away, a baby gate (or rather, a dog pen) to set up, a playpen to put away, etc. I am looking forward to tackling this to-do list!
• Baby proof! Ellie will only be getting more and more mobile as the months progress, so it may be time to baby proof things like cords, cables, outlets, etc. Then, when she's just about to pull up on stuff, we'll baby proof things like heavy furniture and toilet lids!
• Work on my two big goals.
• Make and freeze a month's worth of baby food!
• Pump and freeze milk for my surgery (I have to keep doing this on an ongoing basis because milk only lasts so long in the freezer and I have no idea when my surgery will be).
• Christmas presents/plans! Everything about this is up in the air, so hopefully we can get some of it figured out soon!

This is a terribly long list, but hopefully with some babysitting by mom, I'll have a little more time to accomplish things!

Who Doesn't Love Halloween??

A Look Back At October

Well, October definitely started out on the wrong foot. After a lot of pain and many doctor's appointments (and one night in the emergency room!), I found out I have gall stones and need to have my gall bladder removed. On top of this, the hotel got much busier and we lost a staff member, so I've been working a little more than I expected. So those are my excuses for failing at some of my October goals! Here are the goals I had set for October and the results of each goal:

• Take Ellie to swimming lessons. We did this. We lasted for 3 lessons before we realized it was silly to keep going. They happen to coincide with nap time, so Ellie just wasn't a very happy camper for most of the lesson. We plan to go to public swim time with her in the future and then try lessons again when she's a little older.
• Continue to eat more veggies. We've been having green smoothies nearly everyday and dinners that consist of a ton of veggies since my gall bladder troubles have me on a very restricted diet.
• More tummy time for Ellie! Yup! Although we're also doing a lot of 'sitting' (while I support her a bit) time because she seems to prefer it.
• Get Ellie to nap without being held. I know this is possible because she's done it a few times and because she naps in the car seat or stroller sometimes too. Now I just need to get her used to napping in the crib. I've been avoiding it because I appreciate the cuddles, but it would be nice to also be able to nap or to get things done while she naps. Yes! She has napped in her crib a handful of days now. I need to be more consistent with it though.
• Apply for jobs. I am able to work at the hotel, with my husband, however, I would like to find some part time work where the pay is a little better. At the very least, I would like to pick up a few more hours at the hotel to supplement our income since I don't get any maternity leave pay. I have sent out some applications, but have also gotten more hours at the hotel. I had forgotten how much I like working with my husband!
• Encourage Adam to use the sauna or steam room a couple times a week to take better advantage of the perks of living here and to relax! I probably haven't done this as much as I intended, but we've been pretty swamped, so free time has been at a minimum this month. However, I did manage to send him off to use the sauna once and he also got treated to a 3 hour massage on one of his days off!
• Do something (anything!) once a week that contributes to my own overall health. Whether this is a yoga class, a session in the sauna, some time in the fitness room, etc. It doesn't matter what it is as long as it makes me feel good and is good for me! I like the sound of this goal already! :) Giant fail. It seems ironic that I wrote a goal about doing things that contribute to my health and then days later found myself in the emergency room. I spent most of October feeling sore, weak, tired and just plain crappy. Hopefully I can do better next month!

I also think I should give myself bonus points for fitting in an overnight road trip. I took Ellie (all by myself!) to visit my parents on their new farm. It was a quick, but successful, trip!

 
Now I'm going to take a couple days to think about what I want my November goals to be!
 

5 Months

Christmas Cookies

I realize Halloween hasn't even come and gone yet, but I'm already excited about this idea for packaging Christmas cookies. If you're a neighbour of mine, beware - your cookies are coming to you in much nicer packaging this year!

Babies Are Expensive

We have just started doing a bit of research on adoption. We are literally only a few days into what will probably be many months of research and I've already lost count of the number of times my jaw has dropped. I realize adoptions involve a ton of legal fees, paperwork, and other expenses, but holy crapoly I had no idea how crazy costly they can be. Adopting has always been one of my dreams, but it sure is hard to stay focused on the dream when you're reading an email describing one adoption route that can cost between $30,000 and $50,000!

Dreaming Big!

Inspired by my friend and fellow blogger, Sara, I decided to spend some time thinking about my big dreams. I really like to just scribble ideas on paper, so I grabbed some blank sheets of paper and a pen and just started writing all the things I've ever dreamed of doing as a career. I didn't let any details hold me back. For example, if I dreamed of being a doctor, I wrote it down. The fact that I would have to go back to university for many years and incur a lot more student debt would be irrelevant. At this stage, I was just brainstorming dreams. In the end (although there's never really an end to dreaming!) I found a business idea that fills me with excitement and eagerness every time I think about it! I wanted to apply the same process to my personal life as well. But I already knew what my big personal dream was, so I didn't even bother getting out the pen and paper.

At this point, I'm not quite ready to share my big professional goal with the internet world, as I'm still just getting a handle on how to go about pursuing it. As for my big personal goal, I want a big family. It sounds simple enough, but we would like to adopt, which is a bit of a process. Expanding our family through adoption will require a lot of planning, paperwork, time, etc.

Both of my goals are big, big dreams. But by taking each of them one tiny step at a time, I feel like they are goals I can definitely accomplish. And each day that I work a little bit on them, I feel completely energized! It's a wonderful feeling!

It's October Already?!

It seems like September passed in a blur of activity and we've somehow wound up several days into October without even realizing it. Yikes! I guess it's time to see how I did with my September goals and set some new ones for October. Here's how I did last month:

• Take an overnight family trip. Done! Major success ~ Ellie travels well! She actually started consistently sleeping through the night during our trip!
• Eat more veggies. Done! I found a yummy slow cooker meal that's nearly all veggies and I've also been having a green smoothie everyday for the past week or so.
• Continue to exercise regularly. Not so much. I've walked with Ellie, but not as much as I did in August when the weather was nicer. 
• Give Ellie even more tummy time and independent time. I still have to remind myself to do tummy time everyday (I often remember right after a feeding, which means we don't do it because it would only result in mass quantities of puke), however, she does get a decent amount of independent play time.
• Go to a mom and baby group with Ellie. Preparing for our overnight trip meant skipping these groups and now they overlap with swimming lessons so they might not happen until November!
• Take the car in for an oil change and to replace our cracked windshield. Done!
• Get my bloodwork done to check my thyroid. I "forgot"? Haha... who likes bloodwork anyhow?!

Not so bad ~ although I'm noticing a trend where the things that are least likely to get accomplished are the things that relate to my own overall health. Not good. I need to try to rectify the habit of placing my well being on the back burner!

Now here are some October goals:

• Take Ellie to swimming lessons.
• Continue to eat more veggies.
• More tummy time for Ellie!
• Get Ellie to nap without being held. I know this is possible because she's done it a few times and because she naps in the car seat or stroller sometimes too. Now I just need to get her used to napping in the crib. I've been avoiding it because I appreciate the cuddles, but it would be nice to also be able to nap or to get things done while she naps.
• Apply for jobs. I am able to work at the hotel, with my husband, however, I would like to find some part time work where the pay is a little better. At the very least, I would like to pick up a few more hours at the hotel to supplement our income since I don't get any maternity leave pay.
• Encourage Adam to use the sauna or steam room a couple times a week to take better advantage of the perks of living here and to relax!

Hmm... Other than eating more veggies, I seem to have a lack of goals related to my own well being, again! So maybe I'll top the list off with one more:

• Do something (anything!) once a week that contributes to my own overall health. Whether this is a yoga class, a session in the sauna, some time in the fitness room, etc. It doesn't matter what it is as long as it makes me feel good and is good for me! I like the sound of this goal already! :)

4 months!

I'm about 10 days late on bringing you this one... but here it is anyhow:

September Goals

I'm pretty happy with how I did on my August goals even if I didn't achieve all of them. Now it's time to set some goals for September and get started making them happen!

• Take an overnight family trip. We have this planned already, so fingers crossed it goes well! It will actually be a 4 hour trip in the car and two nights away from home - yikes!
• Eat more veggies. My August goal about eating more salads and green smoothies didn't work out. I think it was too specific. I'd like to get more veggies in my diet, but it doesn't have to be through salads or smoothies.
• Continue to exercise regularly. This may only be a walk with Ellie in the stroller, or it may be a half hour stint in the fitness room. I'm okay with either!
• Give Ellie even more tummy time and independent time. We threw caution to the wind and ignored absolutely everyone's parenting advice for the first three months and just did what worked for Ellie. Now, I'm ready to wean her off of always wanting to be in someone's arms. In the next couple months we'll start to work on getting her to fall asleep on her own for naps!
• Go to a mom and baby group with Ellie. There is one very close to our house, so hopefully that will help me get over the trauma of driving alone with Ellie.
• Take the car in for an oil change and to replace our cracked windshield. We've been meaning to do this for a while now, but it requires 'giving up' almost a whole day off, so I've been postponing it inevitably. I'm hoping that posting this here will force me to book it and get it done. I also would really like it done before our road trip!
• Get my bloodwork done to check my thyroid. I had crazy weird thyroid issues early on in my pregnancy with Ellie and was supposed to have it checked again shortly after her birth. Well, I've been putting this off strictly because it's not fun and I often have 'more important' things to do. It's time to get it over with! 

I could keep going, but I think this is a manageable number of goals. I also need to get started on some of them as soon as possible because otherwise there is potential for a lot of these things to all happen within a week of one another. That doesn't sound fun!

August Goal Review

Early in the month, I set some goals for myself and now the time has come to see how well I've done. Here are the goals I had set, and, in bold text, the results!

• Shower while home alone with Ellie. I have now done this about half a dozen times. It totally depends on her mood, but if she's happy in the bouncy chair I get a very enjoyable 3 minute shower! 
• Take Ellie somewhere in the car without Adam. I did manage to drive a couple minutes down the road to meet a friend and her kids at the beach. This was a few weeks ago, and slightly traumatized me (Ellie cried, I got distracted, I ran a stop sign!!!), so I haven't done it since.
• Go back to work part time. I've been working a few shifts here and there, but after much consideration, we decided it was too soon. Because Adam's shift would end at the very minute mine would begin, it required this difficult baby-shuffling routine in addition to the challenge of getting ready for work while entertaining a baby. I have my last shift this Saturday, and then we're going to wait a month or so and try again.
• Take an overnight family trip. Our work schedule made this impossible, however, we have one planned for September!
• Make time for regular exercise at least 2-3 times per week. I haven't made it over to the fitness room once this past month. But I did get out for walks with Ellie in the stroller nearly everyday for the past few weeks. It's a start!
• Eat more salads and/or green smoothies. Ha! I totally bailed on this goal.
• Do more tummy time, diaper-free time and outside in the shade time with Ellie. Success!
• Open an RESP for Ellie. Done! 

Not too shabby! Now I'm going to go think about what I want my September goals to be and hopefully I will get around to posting them in the next few days. 

3 months!

Time Flies...

... when you're exhausted 24/7. I can't believe it's been just over 3 months since Ellie officially entered the world. It's so hard to remember what our lives were like before we had her. Adam and I were talking the other day about what we did with our days off before her birth, and we really couldn't remember. We concluded that we wasted a lot of our baby-free time. Oh if we only knew then what we know now.... Isn't that always the case?

 

This past month has been hectic. We had a two week visit from Ellie's Ontario grandparents. We attempted several outings with Ellie but she just wasn't having it. She also had a few super fussy nights with lots of crying, which lead to a very exhausted mommy! On top of that, she had her first shots which resulted in a full day of crying in her sleep (yup, she slept ALL day after her shots!). We've also had visits from my mom and stepdad, my dad and stepmom, and a whole bunch of our friends (Danica, Shawna, Sven & Kayden). I also started working part time (but that's an entire other post worth in itself!). We even ventured out to Diana & Richard's house for a delicious dinner (and survived with only a short bout of crying!).

Ellie has also reached a lot of milestones over the past month. She had already started rolling from her tummy to her back, but also now rolls from her back onto her side (mostly in pursuit of fingers to suck on). She has also rolled back to tummy a couple times, but I think they were mostly accidental. She also figured out how to bat at her toys and a couple days of doing that resulted in her being able to reach for and grab her toys! Now she's just starting to put her two hands together. It's pretty fun to watch her concentration as she stares in amazement at her hands clasped in front of her! She is holding her head up really well these days, and likes putting weight on her legs when we hold her up. We also just got her a bumbo, which she really seems to enjoy so far!

Well, our life is pretty much all about Ellie! So that about sums up the last month or so. I don't even remember what 'busy' felt like before having a baby!

A Few Clips

Just a few long overdue video clips of Ellie for those of you not on Facebook...

A Few Favourites

These are just a few of my favourite moments from these past 2 months or so. Even though it's been a huge life-altering change, having Ellie is such a blessing!

The beginning of her thumb sucking attempts. I believe this one was an accidental success!

Ellie with her cousin Austin :)

Breastfeeding has gotten so much easier!

Self-explanatory? We couldn't pass up the opportunity to document this special moment!

Some after-bath time cuddles!

  

August Goals

One of my favourite blogs and bloggers does a monthly reflection and sets out her goals for the next month. I really enjoy those posts and have been wanting to do something similar because I think it will help me commit to my goals and hopefully follow through on them. So, as a trial run, here are my goals for August:

• Shower while home alone with Ellie (I usually either sneak in a shower before Adam goes to work, or when he comes home on his break, but getting up at 6am to shower or waiting until noon aren't very convenient options).
• Take Ellie somewhere in the car without Adam. I haven't attempted this yet because she often gets fussy in the car and I like to be the one sitting beside her and soothing her. But I have a friend I haven't seen since before Ellie was born, so I might just use that as an excuse to get over this hurdle! Then we can look at going to mommy-and-me type groups together in the fall!
• Go back to work part time. Luckily, we live at work, so this can be done fairly easily without me having to pump (hopefully). I'm just not sure how I'll handle longer periods of time away from Ellie (my shifts would be 4.5 hours).
• Take an overnight family trip. We will probably either go to visit my parents (depending on their schedules - they have a busy month!) or go somewhere else on the island just the 3 of us.
• Make time for regular exercise at least 2-3 times per week. We have a fitness room on the property, so all I have to do is get dressed and go over there when I get free time. I'd like to lose 5-7 pounds this month. I think this is doable.
• Eat more salads and/or green smoothies. There is a group retreat here at the moment in which the participants subside on nothing but green smoothies for a week. I'm hoping to be in the right place at the right time and score some free smoothies!
• Do more tummy time, diaper-free time and outside in the shade time with Ellie. Tummy time is great for strengthening her arm, neck and chest muscles and it's also the first step to crawling someday. Diaper-free time is good for airing out and keeping diaper rash away. On that note, diaper-free time can be kinda messy, so outside in the shade might be a nice place to do that!
• Open an RESP for Ellie. We actually had intended to do this in July (the appointment was made and everything), but had unexpected guests, so we cancelled it to spend time with them. It should be fairly simple to re-book once we know our work schedules.

I keep wanting to add more goals, but at the risk of overextending myself and feeling stressed out all month (or disappointed next month when I look back on these goals), I'm going to leave it there.

What do you think? Does this list seem realistic? Or is it too much too soon? Do you have any big (or small) goals for this month?

Can It Get Any Easier??

No - I am not talking about this baby business, for a change!

I came across a blog post over at Mama and Baby Love about making slow cooker meals that you freeze. It is the most amazing idea and I can't wait to try it! You simply toss all your pre-chopped veggies, your meat, and some spices into a big ziploc and toss them in the freezer. Voila! A meal ready for the slow cooker!

I know what I'm doing on our next day off!

2 months!

My Long List of Excuses

I've been terrible at keeping up with blogging. At times, it's a nice break from this baby business, but at other times - those breaks are used for much needed sleep! I've even given up on washing the dishes everyday so that I can have that extra ten minutes of rest - believe me, it's worth it!

We've also been super busy lately with lots of visitors. In some ways it's easier to have a whole bunch of people visit over the course of one weekend, but in other ways it's ten times more hectic! We started off our busy weekend on a Wednesday night when we went into town to pick up Adam's sister from the airport. The very next day, a couple of our friends came to visit. Unfortunately for them, Ellie was having a particularly fussy night and she put on quite a screeching crying show for them! Thankfully though, we also got to visit with them the next morning when she was in a much better mood. Then on the Saturday my dad stopped by for an hour or so to show us his new sheep and to visit briefly with our other visitors that arrived that day - my brother and his family! It was great to see my nephews (they are growing up far too quickly!) and absolutely heart melting to see Ellie's Auntie & Uncle dote on her! By Monday evening, all our guests had departed and we were just plain exhausted!

That was over a week ago now and I'm still not sure if I've recovered. Now we have another super busy couple of weeks coming up. This week and next we have appointments on every one of Adam's days off. One of those is Ellie's first shots. I don't think I need to explain why I'm not looking forward to that day! We booked her appointment for the morning for a couple reasons. She's the least fussy in the mornings, so at least she won't already be screaming when we get there. Also, then if she has an adverse reaction to the shots, hopefully it would still be day time when it happens so we won't be heading into town in the middle of the night to go to the emergency room (why do I always think of the worst case scenario?!). And if she's just fussy and upset all day, hopefully it will subside by night time and we won't have a sleepless night as a result. Wishful thinking? Probably.

On top of all that, we have more visitors coming this weekend for a couple weeks - Ellie's grandparents from Ontario! She is their first grandchild, so they are very excited to finally meet her. Hopefully we have a minimal number of super fussy days while they're here, since we still seem to be getting those fairly often! Oh - and in a lovely turn of events - my mom (who was the biggest help in the world to me for a whole WEEK after Adam went back to work) will be back for one night at the end of the month! Oh how I wish I could keep her another week!

If anyone else is planning on visiting in the near future - bring coffee and lots of it. Or food, food is good! (Thank you sooo very much for the chili and bread Madeleine! Yum!!)

6 weeks and 2 days

In the spirit of honesty I have to admit that I thought this would be easier. Not that I thought having and caring for a baby would be easy necessarily, but I definitely thought it would be less challenging and stressful than I'm finding it to be. Not only that, but even when it was super hard for the first couple weeks, I still believed it would get much easier a lot faster than it is. Adam thinks I'm too hard on myself and that I'm doing a great job. It's nice to hear, and he might be right, but all I want is to feel like I'm doing a great job. And I want to stop thinking in terms of the future (ie. 'It'll be easier when she can sit up', or, 'In 2 weeks she's old enough to sleep 6 hours straight') because that only sets me up to be disappointed with the present and disappointed with that future when my expectations don't come true.

And dammit, I want some freakin' dairy products! Chocolate ice cream would do wonders on making me feel better at the moment.  :-(

The 3 P's

Pee, poop and puke. It's funny how your perspective of all these things drastically changes when you have a baby. Suddenly, a little pee is completely harmless. After all, it's pretty much colourless and odourless, so what's the big deal? Poop, still kinda gross but a lot less so now that you have to deal with it a dozen times a day. It doesn't even resemble real poop in any way, so I guess that helps! As for puke, well, it's harmless. I get puked on daily and Ellie pukes on herself daily. Neither of us gets a fresh change of clothes just because of a little puke. So long as it's not excessive, we just let it dry and move on!

I think with all these things there comes some moment when you realize how little they phase you. With me, the pee moment was today. I changed Ellie's diaper in the car and had her on a vinyl change pad to protect the seat of the car. Sadly, the seat of the car is not flat and she decided to pee. It poured down the mat and made a lovely little puddle on my seat. Yes, I then had to sit in it all the way home. I did put down a little blanket but only so that my butt wouldn't have a big wet spot when I went into the grocery store. Did I then clean the seat when I got home? Hell no. It'll dry ;)

As for my poop moment. I think it was a few days ago. Ellie often shoots poops across her change table and onto the wall while we're changing her. Messy, but not the end of the world. A few days ago I noticed that we had missed a few spots while cleaning up after one of these explosive poops. But that's all I did - I noticed it. Then I walked away and got on with my day. What's a little poop on the wall? I finally wiped it off today when I noticed that there were about a dozen little poop spots on the wall, not just that one!

And then there's puke. I've never been phased by baby puke, so I haven't really had a decisive moment with this one. However, I do remember a couple weeks ago when Adam would change his shirt everytime Ellie spit up on it. I thought this was the silliest concept and still do. I think he's gotten over it. ;)

1 month later...

Ellie is one month old!

I love these stickers! We had fun propping Ellie up in the corner of the couch with a fun fabric background (a quilt made for her by our friend's mom). We took a bunch of photos with her propped up like this and then some of her lying on her back. I think we'll do a combination of both styles of photos for a few months to see what works best for us. I can't wait until we have a few of these photos so we can start comparing them!

Musings of an exhausted mama...

It's 2am. Ellie's been awake for nearly 7 hours straight, crying and fussing loudly for about the last 3 or 4 hours. This can't be healthy for her. Every time we think we've calmed her down she jolts back to her fussy mood, often with a shrill cry that comes out of nowhere piercing your ears and making you want to cry too! The silver lining is that Adam has tomorrow off, so we can hopefully stay in bed for most of the day, if that's what it takes to recover from tonight. Oh the joys of being a mama!

Suggestions?

I've reached the point where I'm ready to have some 'me' time. It doesn't have to be terribly exciting and I don't want to go far or be away from Ellie for too long (since I'm breastfeeding and not yet ready to figure out pumping). So I'm looking for your suggestions of things I can do for a half hour or hour every other day or so. I don't yet have my doctor's okay to exercise, so sadly this means yoga or a quick jog are out of the question. Any ideas??

The Greatest Challenge

1 day old Ellie :)

  Well, I'm 3 weeks and 5 days into having a baby and although there have been many challenges so far (my own recovery, sleep deprivation, dealing with a crying infant, etc), by far the greatest challenge has been breastfeeding. I read a lot about breastfeeding when I was pregnant. I had no doubt in my mind that it was the best for the baby and that I would do anything to make sure I could provide this nourishing substance for my baby. Yet somehow I don't think all my reading managed to portray how incredibly difficult it would be.

You see, when Ellie was first born and we were still in the hospital, the challenge was in learning how to hold her properly (with an IV in the crook of my elbow - which *constantly* interfered with correct positioning) and how to get her latched on properly. Every bad latch resulted in major nipple pain during the next attempt. Speaking of nipple pain - holy crap!!! I could never have imagined how much it hurt. I think I may have even let out a little scream once or twice. Luckily, if you get the latch right, the pain goes away within about half a minute. If you get it wrong though, stop immediately because it will only get worse!

By the time we were leaving the hospital, I felt much better about breastfeeding. I went home thinking the hardest part was over. Ha! What a cruel joke nature plays. Clearly I had forgotten that I was only feeding her colostrum and I was yet to experience the joys (!!) of engorgement when my milk came in. Now, I'm already bigger chested, but wow - these puppies got HUGE and HARD and LUMPY and PAINFUL! I can't even describe it enough. Sleeping was awkward (on top of the fact that I couldn't sleep in many positions because of my healing incision). Feeding Ellie was painful too because I had to massage those painful, lumpy boobs while she fed. Finally though, a health nurse that visited us at home suggested putting cabbage leaves in my bra for 20 minutes after a feeding. Strange - but it worked with just one use!! Sweet relief!

Now the pain is seldom and the lumpy engorgement only seems to happen occasionally. The new challenge: leakage! Even with breast pads, I woke up to a nice little puddle on my sheets last night! My advice for anyone taking on the breastfeeding challenge: try a bunch of different breast pads. I have reusable ones in bamboo and cotton as well as 3 different brands of disposables. It definitely took trying all of these to discover that the Johnson & Johnson disposables are by far my favourite. But to each their own! I still use the reusable ones, but at least have another option for when they're in the laundry.

So those are my breastfeeding frustrations in a nutshell! Breastfeeding definitely has a STEEP learning curve, but at least it gets better fairly quickly!

Maybe next I'll post about some of those other challenges (or maybe something more upbeat??).

Disclaimer

I can't believe I'm already more than 3 weeks into mommyhood. This experience has been more than I could have ever expected. More amazing, more challenging, more frustrating, more of everything. In the spirit of being a realistic person, I intend to blog honestly about my experiences. This means that sometimes I will have blog posts about the cute sounds Ellie makes when she's hungry and rooting around for a nipple (seriously cute - she sounds like a hungry baby dinosaur!), and sometimes I will have blog posts about how frustrating it is to be tied to a baby 24/7, especially when the baby is upset for no reason at all and cries for hours in the middle of the night. So this post is my disclaimer. If you can't handle the honesty, don't read the blog! On the other hand, if you like realism - stay tuned for the realities of projectile poop, sore nipples, exhaustion and all the cute stuff too!

Introducing...

Ellie Justina

Born May 20th at 11:03am, weighing in at7lbs 12oz!

My Etsy Shopping Spree!

I've accumulated a nice little balance in my Paypal account thanks to Swagbucks, so I decided I deserved to buy something fun on Etsy.

I was super happy to come across these stickers. What you do is peel them off and stick them on your baby's onesie on their '1 month', '2 month', '3 month', etc birthdays and at the end of the year you've got a cool series of 12 photos showing how much your baby has changed! I've seen this done on a couple of my favourite blogs, both weekly and monthly, but wasn't feeling up to the challenge of either photoshopping it or sewing special onesies. Stickers sound much easier! I can't wait for them to arrive in the mail!

The Henna Photos!

Oops... I guess when I said I would post these the next day, I meant several days later! What can I say? I'm a professional procrastinator!

So here are a few photos with the henna paste still on and drying, followed by a few photos from the next day. I'm impressed it turned out so dark!

Henna Belly!

Tonight Adam and I experimented with a home henna kit. He set his new video camera to a time-lapse feature and then turned my belly into his canvas! Watch the video above and I'll post pictures tomorrow!

Happy Easter!

My 35 week-old baby belly all dressed up for Easter!

Skin Deep Cosmetics Database: My Results

I decided to do an inventory of the bath products currently filling my bathroom and makeup stand to see how they stacked up in the Skin Deep Cosmetics Database. I'm not terribly surprised by the results, as I've always known I could be a lot more diligent about checking labels when I buy these products. So, in the interest of 'coming clean' so that I can truly clean up my cosmetics, here are my results:

**Note that the Skin Deep database does a lot more than just assign a number and hazard rating - so for more details, follow the links!**

Aveda Brilliant Anti-Humectant Pomade:
I swear by this stuff for keeping my carefully straightened hair straight on rainy days. It smooths my frizzies and prevents my hair from going back to it's natural wave/frizz when it gets rained on. That being said, any product that performs such 'miracles' is probably something I should have been skeptical of. So what did the database say?
This product scored a 4 (out of 10) which rates it as a moderate hazard.

Arm & Hammer Extra Whitening Triple Power Toothpaste:
I am pretty picky about the taste of my toothpaste. I think I've become even fussier since being pregnant and having many months where brushing my teeth often resulted in a whole lot of fighting with my gag reflex. So, I'm not sure if I'll change my toothpaste buying habits, even after I see the results for this product. However, I could try something once and let Adam finish the tube if I don't like it, and just keep doing that until we come up with something I can handle!
This product scored a 5 which rates it as a moderate hazard. (I used the closest match I could get, which was Arm & Hammer Complete Care Toothpaste Extra Whitening Fresh Mint).

Herbal Essences Totally Twisted Curl Boosting Mousse:
This product wasn't listed, so I'm just going with a random other mousse made by the same brand. As for the type I use, I am not surprised it doesn't rate very well, but I feel like it might be a long and expensive journey to find a suitable replacement. I like how well this mousse holds my curl and I've tried a handful of others and never been too happy with the results. I guess I just have to keep trying!
This product scored a 7 which rates it as a high hazard.

Aveda Brilliant Damage Control with Camomile:
This product was not listed and no comparable alternatives exist in the database at the present time.

Dove Sensitive Skin Day Lotion:
I can easily trash my Jergen's moisturizer (see below) and use this instead. I'm usually pretty happy with the results and the one I have happens to be fragrance free and dye free. It's never irritated my skin or clogged my pores, so it's probably okay to stick with using it. Also, I like supporting Dove because of their campaigns that show 'real women' rather than stick thin models. Using the closest match I could find, this was the rating:
This product scored a 4 which rates it as a moderate hazard.

Degree Ultra Clear Pure Rain Anti-Perspirant:
I usually have Dove anti-perspirant, but at the moment, the one in my bathroom is Degree. I'm not really attached to any particular anti-perspirant, so this might be the easiest product for me to replace with a less toxic option.
This product scored a 4 which rates it as a moderate hazard.

TRESemme Tres Two Extra Hold Hairspray:
I don't usually buy aerosol hair spray, but this is left over from our wedding when I quickly grabbed a few travel size toiletries that could be easily transported to our ceremony and reception venues in case they were needed. Well, I will happily be replacing this product! I hate the smell of it and I literally have to hold my breath, spray it, run out of the bathroom, then take a deep breath - that's how bad it is!
This product scored a 7 which rates it as a high hazard.

Burt's Bees Orange Essence Facial Cleanser with Orange Oil:
I LOVE the smell of this cleanser. It makes my skin feel amazingly clean, however, I find that it can also dry out my skin if I use it too often. I mainly chose this cleanser because the brand has a good name and is assumed to be fairly eco-friendly. Thankfully, the results reassured me that I can feel comfortable continuing to use this product!
This product scored a 2 which rates it as a low hazard.

Jergens Natural GLOW Daily Moisturizer:
I'm actually cringing at the fact that I even bought this product. It does a nice job of moisturizing my skin and smells pleasant. However, I haven't ever noticed a change in my skin tone from using it, so it's likely ineffective. On top of that, why on earth did I think it would be safe to put something on my skin that is MEANT to alter my body?? This one is likely to be headed to the trash. (Can you believe I actually used it today? Yikes... this is precisely why I need to eliminate such products from my bathroom so that the temptation to use them isn't there to begin with!)
This product scored a 7 which rates it as a high hazard.

For some reason I have three sunscreens in my bathroom. I think I bought one for convenience (the Neutrogena spray), one because I thought it was better for me and the earth (the Burt's Bees) and then the third is leftover from a vacation (the Coppertone).

Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Body Mist Sunscreen SPF 30:
This is yet another product I knew better than to buy in the first place. But the sheer convenience (and lack of oily hands) of spraying on sunscreen won out over my own health. How bizarre is that? I chose to use spray on sunscreen that's bad for my health so that I wouldn't get a sunburn, which is also bad for my health. Apparently I'd rather get cancer from my sunscreen than from the actual sun. Sadly, I think skin cancer is probably more likely to be treatable than the type of cancer I might get from using this product. This baby's going in the trash!
This product scored a 7 which rates it as not recommended.

Burt's Bees Sunscreen with Hemp Seed Oil SPF 30:
I bought this sunscreen in an attempt to wean myself off of the spray on stuff, which I knew deep down was bad for me. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to smell it before buying it in the store, and I kinda think it reeks. So, it got used once and has since remained on my bathroom counter. Anyone want some free sunscreen? You might like the smell - it's just not for me!
This product scored a 4 which rates it as a moderate hazard.

Coppertone SPF 50:
For this one, I just used the closest match I could find, but it seemed like most of the Coppertone SPF 50s were rated the same, so it's likely to be fairly accurate. I think, at least for sunscreen, I might be okay with a rating of 5. It seems likely that it might protect me more than harm me. That said, it wouldn't hurt to continue to look for a better option. Also, if sunscreen expires (does it?) then probably all of mine are too old anyhow... or maybe they're fine, I don't know!
This product scored a 5 which rates it as a moderate hazard.

Neutrogena Deep Clean Invigorating Dual Action Toner:
This wasn't listed, but two other, fairly different, toners from Neutrogena were listed. I'm going to assume that this one would probably fall into the same range and be rated a 6 or a 7, which would rate it as a moderate or high hazard. I should probably invest in something safer. 

Johnson's Baby Powder with Aloe & Vitamin E, Pure Cornstarch:
This isn't something I would normally use, but it has been the answer to one of my most frustrating pregnancy woes: the wonderful experience of my chest chafing against my belly. Oh how I miss underwire bras with all their lovely support! Alas, I have become a regular user of this baby powder. Thankfully, it doesn't rate too badly.
This product scored a 3 which rates it as a moderate hazard.

********************************************************************************

Well, that was definitely enlightening! This post took me the entire day to write (it was pretty depressing at times, so I took lots of breaks!). I think the end result is that I will immediately replace anything that received a high hazard rating (7-10), and then work my way down until all the products I use are in the low hazard rating (0-2).

I know not all of my readers keep blogs, but I would love to know if you looked up any of the products you have in your bathroom! Anything you've decided to trash? Anything you're happy to see rated as a low hazard? Leave me a comment here on the blog!

Book Review: Better Off: Flipping the Switch on Technology

I wanted to write a blog post about this book before a) I forget or b) I become too lazy. To be fair, I can only review Part I of the book, since that's as far into reading it as I've gotten. But honestly, I am thrilled to have found it! It's an incredibly interesting book that makes you think pretty intensely about your own use of technology and, for myself, about my relationship with food (where it comes from, how it's preserved, etc).

The book is actually about a couple who decide to live technology-free in an Amish-like community for 18 months. The challenges and rewards and learning experiences Brende writes about are so fascinating that I honestly believe everyone would enjoy reading this book!

So even though I'm not finished reading it yet - I give it a whole-hearted recommendation! Get it from your local library, a used book store, or order it off of Amazon!

Long Overdue Update!

As it turns out, this baby has kept me pretty busy (and she's not even born yet!) and as a result, I've neglected this blog! Well, if you're up for it, get comfortable - this post is a very lonnnnng update on the last few months.

I'm gonna go back as far as January, when we had a little poll on the right side of the blog to see what everyone thought our baby's gender would be. Well, it turns out you guys guessed pretty well! We are having a baby girl! We had to drive 2 hours to the nearest big(ger) city where there is a 3D/4D ultrasound clinic that is willing to tell people the gender (anything run by public health care on the island will no longer tell people, so we forked out the big bucks for the fancy private clinic). Boy was that ever an adventure! We went in for our appointment, but baby was being pretty modest. With a foot covering it's nether regions, the baby wasn't sharing any news with us. The ultrasound tech had me rolling from side to side, she was gently pushing on my belly from all sides, and she even had me get up and jump around a little. No luck. Baby wouldn't budge! Thankfully, the clinic staff were very understanding of the fact that we were 2 hours from home and en route to the next city over to visit friends and family for the weekend (so coming back another day wasn't really an option - we were hoping to be sharing the news later that day!). So we were sent away for an hour to drink a cold, sugary slurpie (which was pretty gross!) and come back for another try. Adam even drove a little too fast over some speed bumps hoping to 'bump' the baby's foot out of the way! When we got back to the clinic, it took about 10 seconds and we got our first clear shot and definitive results: we have a baby girl in there!! I will be the first to admit, I was a mess of tears. Even one of the techs cried a little. It was a pretty magnificent moment!

From the ultrasound clinic we headed to our former home town to visit friends and family and share our news. Mom was pretty excited. She adores the two grandsons she has already, but being an avid sewer and crafter, I could tell she was anxious for a little girl to make things for. I was definitely right - she was ecstatic! And since then she has been very busy with all sorts of patterns - she sews, crochets, crafts, etc. She's even found some super adorable outfits for the wee little one. We definitely have a very lucky baby coming our way!

February was a little less hectic. Just the usual doctor's appointments and baby prep. And by less hectic - I just mean less time spent on the road - not less busy! We've had a running to-do list since September when we found out we were expecting. The friends who know me best will probably not be the least bit surprised that this 'to-do list' is actually a giant spreadsheet of tasks, dates they need to be completed by, and who has to complete the task. I'm pretty happy to say we're only a couple tasks behind on our next task deadline, which is April 15th. I think the only things we need to do before then are pack the hospital bag, get the diaper bag set up, and make sure I have a stash of postpartum pads.

Oh - on that lovely note: I'm excited to be finally giving Lunapads cloth pads a try! I got their postpartum kit from one of my best friends as a shower gift and can't wait to try them. I've actually read they're much nicer after the birth since they're so much softer than conventional disposables (especially if you have stitches down there!). But I still want a package of disposables in case I don't have enough cloth to last between laundry loads. I'll have to let you know how I like them once I've used them!

So that brings us to March - the month of the baby shower and my birthday. Actually, both happened the same weekend! It was definitely a whirlwind of a weekend. We drove down to our old home town for the shower, which one of my best friends planned and hosted. It was perfect! I've been to a couple showers before and some feel pretty awkward, but I can honestly say I had tons of fun and think my friends and family did too! We did a potluck of finger food which was delicious and just sat around socializing for a little while. Given that I no longer live in the same city as all my wonderful friends, I probably could have spent the whole time just talking to them! But we did manage to fit in a few games. We did the game where we wear a soother on a necklace and can't say the word 'baby' for the whole shower. I was doing very well catching other people and collecting their soothers, but then a friend of mine caught me and took all of them away! It was pretty fun! We were also tested on our knowledge of baby animal names (some of these were surprisingly difficult!) and nursery rhymes and our taste buds got to test baby food. We had to take a little taste of unlabeled baby foods and try to decipher what they were. I have a new found sympathy for babies that have to eat that stuff! Hopefully when I get to the baby food making stage I can whip up somethings that are a little tastier than the jarred stuff we got to try! Finally, we ended the shower with presents. Our little one (and me too!!) are very, very spoiled! Given my raging hormones, I'm pretty surprised I didn't cry all the way through (one of my friends even gave me a card with her son's hand print in it - I love him!! It was so sweet!). I did tear up once, but only for a second!

Adam (and the dog!) picked me up after the shower and we drove another hour or so to the ferry terminal so we could get away for a couple nights on a smaller island and just enjoy a quiet weekend to ourselves. Despite a few setbacks with the cabin we rented, we were pretty happy to spend a whole weekend without technology, with a wood burning stove, and just us and the dog. It was beautiful, quiet and super peaceful. Adam even packed along some birthday presents for me and spoiled me rotten. I kept saying it was the best weekend of my life (with the shower and the island getaway) and, aside from our wedding weekend, I really think it was! It was probably the last time in a very long time that we will go away on our own without kids. So we really took the time to appreciate the silence and enjoy each other's company. I'm very lucky to have such a wonderful husband that I love to pieces!

 

And that brings us to April! I'm a little behind on updating this blog with belly photos, so here's one from 30 weeks and then the most recent one from last Friday, at 33 weeks.

 

It's not my favourite photo, since I had just worked all day and was truly exhausted. But it gives you an idea of how big this baby and belly are getting!
As for the goings on in April - we spent this past weekend at labour and delivery classes, we have a baby cpr class tomorrow, and next week is a breastfeeding class. So apparently this is the month when we learn what we're doing!


And that should bring us fully up to date! Hopefully I will keep this blog updated more regularly for those of you that check it (or maybe I should just say 'for mom' since I'm not sure if anyone else reads this!). :o)

Sugar, Chocolate, Heaven!

I am having my first really intense sugar craving since severely reducing sugary foods in my diet a few weeks ago (with the exception of my baby shower - seriously - no pregnant woman should withhold cake from herself at her own baby shower!).

Anyhow, rambling aside, I have been pretty good at not binging on ice cream, or chocolate chip cookies and milk (thanks for that habit, Dad!). But for some reason, right this second, as I sit on my couch and start planning my afternoon, all I can think about is making a batch of delicious homemade chocolate chip cookies and downing ALL OF THEM with a couple glasses of milk. Even better would be the store bought cookies that are sitting in the cupboard because I wouldn't have to wait half an hour for them. I am doing so well at resisting this urge, but it is also resulting in me being on the verge of a pregnancy meltdown (you know the ones - where you burst into tears over the most irrational thing because you can't help it?).

Normally there is plenty of fruit in the house and a sugar craving would be easily forgotten after shoving an apple in my mouth. However, today is grocery day, so there are no apples to be found. The only fruit we have is frozen and intended for smoothies. The catch is that I prefer to make my smoothies with a combination of frozen fruits and fruit juice. But now I am off the fruit juice (since it's loaded with sugar) and don't have any in the house anyhow. Smoothies made with water are just not the same!

So, for fear of losing my sanity over this sugar craving... I will indulge in a glass of ice cold water and ONE store bought chocolate chip cookie. Pathetic, I know!